Drama with birthing classes.....

[PinkSunshine]

*Sigh* http://www.constantchatter.com/images/smilies/frown.gif

Well it seems that I can't persuade my DH to attend the birthing classes that are offered here. They are a 6 weeks series (one night a week for 2 hours) and go over everything from breathing/relaxation techniques to infant care/Bf'ing. I really want to attend them, because neither one of us has ever done this before! He's going to be in the delivery room with me (as well as my mom) and the one supporting me. I think it's not to much to ask him to come with me. My OBGYN gave me the pamphlet about them at my last appt (2 weeks ago) and ever since I got home and told him about it, he's been b*tching & moaning about it.

"Why do I have to go to ALL of them? I don't need to know how to breastfeed, ect" "None of my co-workers went, they all think it's hooey"

I've basically told him that since neither of us have ever been through this before, we need to be prepared. Complications, drugs used, infant safety are all important things to know! He doesn't even know how to change a diaper for goodness sake! He talked to his brother earlier today (his brother has a 6 month old daughter) and asked if they attended the classes. All he told me that he said (I'm sure there were other things said - something to the effect of "I had to go because my wife made me") was that the breathing/relaxation portion of their classes were very helpful.

Basically he's willing to go to the breathing/relaxation class (first class in the series). He doesn't want to go to the others. I've told him it's important to ME that he go and that they're be other husbands there, but he just won't budge http://www.constantchatter.com/images/smilies/frown.gif I just don't understand. I'm sooo frustrated right now, I don't even want to talk about it anymore. I'm sure he's just waiting for it to be too late for me to even register for them, then he'll get out of having to go.

Anyone go through something similar? What was the outcome?

How embarrasing would it be if I went alone? I don't have any family in the area or any friends that would go with me either....

How much would it be hurting me/us if we didn't attend them? Are they 100% totally necessary? I'll be honest, I'm scared to death about L&D and no matter how much I read on the subject (which I've done a lot of) I just think these classes will help me 'calm' my fears, being in a room with women who probably feel the same. Not to mention being able to learn the things they'll cover in the class....

Help http://www.constantchatter.com/images/smilies/frown.gif

[hugglebear]

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this with your DH. I would go ahead and register for them and if he does not go with you, then you go by yourself. In my birthing classes there were several woman there with no support partner.. the class is to help get you the mom ready for the changes that are going to be taking place in your body! The more educated you make yourself the more in control you over your labor and delivery.

Hold DH to going to that first class and maybe something will be said that will peak his intrest and he will come back for the others.

Best of luck to you! And feel Free to vent here.... we are here for you!

[Cat]

Firstly, welcome to awesomebabies :) and secondly, I am sorry you are going through this 'problem' right now.

I agree with Mel, sign up for the classes and if necessary go by yourself. I know that you want DH to go with you, but he may just feel like a spare part. In all honesty these classes tend to prepare the mom to be and it all feels like a lecture to the partner. I know for my own DH he hated it!

Tell him that it is ok for him not wanting to go, but could he please just attend breathing class. You said that he will attend that and that is fine :)

As I said, these classes are generally there to prepare mom what to do, I know with regards to my own experience we never got taught how to change diapers, yes, we got told about complications, but what can you do in that circumstance anyway other than panic! You will have all the medical team there with you :)

For my own personal experience, I never enjoyed the class either :lol: Yes we caught taught all the breathing and relaxation techniques, but I breathed when I wanted to and when anyone told me to breath I screamed :roflmbo: So relaxation wasnt on my mind when I delivered :lol:

And you will be suprised to see not many partners attend these classes either. Please dont stress yourself out over this, he is willing to go to the important class and the rest you can relay to him :bighug:

[kalynnsmom]

I'm sorry that you guys are having a problem with this..

As far as the bf'ing part of the class, Bill went and was glad he went. Ours wasn't just about "how" to BF, but what to expect in the first few weeks, and how important husbands are for encouragement and support.

Anyway, I'd go ahead and register for them. I was totally clueless as well, and it was nice to know what happens during labor, how to change diapers and etc.

Good luck!

[bunkie68]

I'm sorry your DH isn't wanting to participate. :hug99: Kevin went with me, because he wasn't going to cross the bitchy pregnant woman. :lol: I agree with what's been said, it's not essential that he go but nice if he would. Definitely hold him to going to that first class, and maybe tell him afterward how much you appreciated him making the effort and that it would mean a lot to you if he'd go to some of the other classes as well. (Sometimes you've gotta sweet-talk men to get them to do what you want. :heee: )

[finzel]

I totally agree with the other ladies - sign up for those classes, and DH just might change his mind and go, once he finds out just what the classes are like. If not, you go - and you'll get a nice massage from the instructor, since he won't be there to give you one.

It's things that guys really don't want to think about, but my DH did say that now he realizes he can be a very active part of labor/delivery, rather than his previous idea that it was just me laying in a bed pushing away with a doc/nurse in the room.

And he just might become friendly with one of the other dads-to-be in the class (who are probably just as uncomfortable as he is).

Hang in there - it's a wonderful resource that I would hate for you to miss out on.

[finzel]

PinkSunshine - I can't believe you're due the day after me!!! Yippie!! How cool is that!

Happy 28 Weeks to you!

[Mary DK]

I agree, sign up and go by yourself :nod: It will make you feel better to know a little more of what's gonna happen and that's what is important.
We also had a couple of moms-to-be that were there by themselves... and my hubby had to go to our last class by himself because I was put on bedrest :)