Does the # of siblings you have shape the # of children you want?

[Calypso]

I saw this question on another site and thought it was interesting. I am one of two children, so I always thought I'd have only two. DH is one of three, and he would love to have three children. Although it's a daunting thought, I would love to have a third or even fourth child now that I've experienced what being a Mommy is like.

How about you?

[Bea00]

I am the youngest of seven children and I wish I could have a large family, 4 or 5 would be wonderful, however due to finances, income, and society today we will probably stop at two. I really believe a large family enriches you. Interesting question!
Bea00

[ravenwycce]

I am an only child, between my parents. There was supposed to be another after me, but the pregnancy turned out to be ectopic... My mother had 4 children from her first marriage, though; and despite the fact that they were raised separately, I had enough contact with them that I consider them to be as close to me as full-siblings. They were much older than me, too - ranging between 10 and 18 years older than me - so I probably wouldn't have been much closer with them even if we had been raised in the same household.

When I was 10, I learned that I not only had siblings on my mother's side, but I also had siblings on my father's side who I had never met, and never even been told about. Apparently, his divorce from his first wife did not go well... Anyway, it turned out that instead of being the youngest of 5, I was actually the youngest of 9. His 4 were closer in age to me than my Mom's kids (between 3 - 6 years difference) but, having met them so late, we never really got close. In fact, one of them I do not even consider to be related to me at all (but that is a different story), two of them I barely know, and the other is no longer with us...

The kids that I grew up with with actually not so much my siblings as they were my siblings' children, especially my nieces and oldest nephew on my Mom's side. My oldest niece is only a year and a half younger than me; and by the age of 12 I had 8 nieces and nephews that I knew of! I now have 15 that I know of by blood, and several others by marriage, but who I have never met. I am also a great-aunt twice over.

I had a lot of cousins, too, that I grew up with. My parents have a combined total of 20 siblings; and I have at least 80 first-cousins. So, I grew up with a lot of kids around, despite being raised as an only child.

I want three children, at least (though 4 would be just fine, too); and I think that is almost entirely due to the large number of children I had around when I was growing up. I spent the rare instances when I was at home, instead of at the babysitter's or at a family function, bored out of my mind for lack of a playmate.

DH, on the other hand, is one of 2 children. Both of his parents were only children. His nearest family is one of his mother's cousins and her daughter. He didn't want any children at all at first. He changed his mind, over time, but he says he can still only conceive of one at a time (let's hope he's right! LOL...). I really do think that his stance was and is partly because he just isn't used to having kids around. Children were not a part of his environment growing up. Needless to say, my family has taken some getting used to for him!

So, I don't know if my situation really fits with the question, as it was presented. For me, the issue goes much further than just siblings. But I do think the size of the family in general, and the number of children around when someone is growing up makes a huge impact. I am from a huge family, and I want at least 3, but no more than 4. Dan is from a very tiny family, and didn't want any at all, but is now curious enough to have 1. (We have settled on two, provided that we have a boy and a girl...)

Interesting question, surely. I wonder if there are any studies than have been done along these lines?

-Karri

[Mom24Girls]

Well, I'm the oldest of two, and we have 4 children so far. :biggrin: And I'd like one more. :) Oh, and Dean is also the oldest of two... so I guess between the two of us there are 4! :lol:

[finzel]

I would think the number of brothers/sisters you have do influence the number of kids you would have/like to have. Sure, it depends upon the finances, but I think the issues we have today with the economy aren't too far different than what our parents/grandparents faced - just higher numbers all around.

I'd like to have 3-4 kids. There's 3 sisters growing up, and my parents both grew up in families of 4. For me, it's one thing to consider the family I would like to raise, and another to think about the extended family. I like the fact that I have cousins my age on both sides of my family, and I think it's important to have a solid immediate family base, in addition to that of the extended family.

I think it's cool to have 7-8 brothers/sisters - it would be a full supper table, but I just think that's great. Christmas would just be crowded!!!

[jenniferbates29]

With my rather large extended family(1 Brother, 1 Half sister,3 step-sisters and 1 step brother) I certainly hope siblings don't influence how many children I will have. Jim and I would like One maybe Two. We'll see how this one goes......:cloud9:

[LeeCeeNQ]

I am the oldest of 2 kids, but my husband is the second of 4 - I was never sure of how many kids I wanted but now since having DS I want at least 4 (DH has wanted 4 all along)... So we are discussing having 2 or 3 and then adopting 1 or 2.

[bunkie68]

It may influence me to some extent. I grew up an only child, and if Julian ends up being my only, I'm OK with that. I had plenty of cousins and friends as I was growing up, and I never felt like I lacked for socialization or for people to hang out with, so being an only child was great for me. I got to have fun when I wanted, and I got time to myself when I wanted (the beauty of not having to share a room!). I was adopted, and I've learned that I have a sister and brother (never met my brother, he was killed in a car accident before I met my birth mom's family). While I think that's really cool, it hasn't given me an overwhelming desire for more children, necessarily.

Kevin, on the other hand, also grew up an only child - adopted like me, has also found his birth family, also has a sister and brother. He now feels like he missed out on so much by not growing up with siblings, and doesn't want Julian to be an only child. So who knows. Of course, with my current life situation, it doesn't much matter what he wants, Julian will be an only for the foreseeable future!